Memorial Day 2012

We had a busy Memorial Day Weekend this year!  Our actual Memorial Day was filled with family time!!  We had a grilled turkey burger lunch at the Miles' and the Kennedy, Logan, Quinn and Zia enjoyed some time in the sprinkler!!

Isn't she cute?!

First sprinkler action of the year!

Logan preparing to run through the sprinkler!

In the morning we went to the Louisburg cemetery and caught part of the ceremony.  Papa Lou, Aunt Barb and Great Papa Henry came as well.  We all spend some time at Sam and Great Grandma Helen's graves.  Then we all went to Miss B's Cafe for brunch. 

Three generations! All in blue!

Papa shows Kennedy the gravesites of other relatives. Quinn says "Wait for me!"

Rare family photo...it was super windy!

Quinn with Great Papa Henry.

It was a great day!

March 3rd, 2008

With the big day that is tomorrow, I was remembering what today felt like 4 years ago.  I went to my blog post from that day.  Just thought I would share it here again.  (It was when I was using Wordpress!).  Crazy how life can hit you hard out of nowhere, huh?  Little did we know what March 4th had in store....


So here is a repost of March 3rd, 2008:

So…..I just can’t shake the sickies this winter. I spent the last 4-5 days with the nasty flu. So much for last minute plans before the baby arrives!!!! But such is life, right?

Just wanted to share some layouts I was holding back. Hoping for publication but I have hit a major dry spell. So it is time to share them!

You will see I am in love with Making Memories products lately!

This one was really just for fun…lots of pink, a cute photo of my girl and lots of hand sewing!

I just had to document Kennedy’s dinner prayers. I really need to videotape it as well…she squeezes her eyes shut and whispers her prayers…beyond adorable!

These photos have been waiting to be scrapped for over a year! Finally found the perfect papers for them!!!! I am loving these circular papers!
This one was more about the song than anything. I just LOVE the song Gracie by Ben Folds. (Thanks Ryan for burning the song for me!) I cried the first time I heard it and thought of Kennedy. So everytime I sing it I change Gracie to Kenna! Just wanted to document it so I never forget!
And just a fun one with the KI Lace – yum! Kennedy LOVED hanging from this bar at the pool last year…lil dare devil!

AND……………..
I decided to do a little RAK!!!!
I was just RAK’ed twice in the past few weeks. Once by my scrappy friend (and new momma) chickypie a.k.a Emily! Thanks for the scrapping goodies Emily!!!!
And another time by the talented and super sweet Wendy Reed. I am so psyched I get one of her hand made bracelets!!! You have to check out her Etsy shop, Sweet Me Designs…she has THE cutest things! Thanks Wendy!
So, I have decided to have my own little RAK to spread the love!!!
But you have to do a little guessing first!! Since we don’t know the gender of our little baby I decided I would have you all guess the gender as well as the weight and length!! Whomever gets closest will get some fun scrappy goodness from me!
Just post your guesses for GENDER, WEIGHT, & LENGTH here! I will likely not check back in again for about a week – but I will announce the winner here on my blog!!
And I thought it might be nice of me to tell you what Kennedy was when she was born, just to play with your mind! She was 41 weeks mind you! But she was 21 inches 8lbs 5.5oz!
LET THE GUESSING BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!

three

1 Samuel 3:4 Then the LORD called Samuel. Samuel answered, “Here I am.”

Did I ever share this verse with all of you? Well, I call it Sam's verse. And the crazy thing is that he was born March 4th - 3/4. And check out the verse..1 Samuel 3:4. Some might call it coincidence - but I call it God. :) This was just one of the ways God showed me that his hand was all over Sam's short life and his death. This verse has brought me such peace. I think back to the night we said goodbye to Sam. He was in Daddy's arms when he likely heard the most amazing sound - God's voice calling him home. So he went from the arms of his earthly Daddy directly to the arms of his heavenly Daddy.

Psalm 34:18
¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

So Sam would be celebrating his 3rd birthday today. THREE. Can that even be right?! I often wonder what he would be like. Would he have his Dad's dark brown hair or my light brown hair? What about his eyes? We never got to see his eyes open and I have always felt bad about that. Would Sam be a talker like Kennedy or more reserved and quiet? What would his favorite activities be? Would he spend hours coloring with Kennedy or would he rather crash monster trucks together? Would he terrorize the dogs? What would his bedroom look like? Would he be a picky eater? Would he be a good sleeper? And now I get to wonder about how he would have reacted to his baby sister, Quinn. Would he be jealous, loving, indifferent? Really, the questions go on and on and on.

I have a few friends in my life that have boys that were born in the months before and after Sam. It has been interesting to watch them grow and change the last few years. In the first months after we lost Sam, I would be deeply intrigued with any little boy I guessed was around Sam's age. I vividly remember one afternoon being at the playground in the mall with some friends and our kids. There was a boy that would have been close to Sam's age and I just stared at him nearly the entire time. I couldn't take my eyes off him. It was terribly painful to watch but I was mesmerized. I think I might have even cried a bit. My brain wanted to daydream about how my Sam would be similar and different. However, that just was like pouring salt in an already gaping wound. But as the days, months and now years go by the pain begins to dull a little. Watching little boys similar to Sam's age doesn't hurt as badly as it used it. Sometimes I will still get that deep, sudden stab of pain - the kind that literally takes your breath away - but it is fleeting now, where it used to last and last. Don't get me wrong, I still grieve. A lot. But it is just different now.


This time of year is always hard. Often Sam's actual birthday is a much easier day than the days leading up to it or the days following it. 2008, 2009 and 2010 produced wonderful weather days on March 4th. But this will likely not be the case today. But Kennedy (and Quinn) and I will still be taking balloons out to the cemetery.

1 Peter 5:10-11
¹⁰ In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. ¹¹ All power to him forever! Amen.

My sweet friend Nikki recently shared a song with me. She and I both have powerful reactions to music and have used many songs to help us work through the grieving process. Well, she gave me a copy of the entire CD and I have been thoroughly enjoying it. It is JJ Heller's new CD "When I'm With You". I have been singing the song 'Olivianna' over and over since she gave it to me. I will share the song and lyrics with you...take a listen if you like. (and one more thing....in the song she mentions that Olivanna lived 11 minutes....Sam lived 11 hours)


Olivianna - JJ Heller
Hearts broke... when your heart stopped beating
I don't... know if mine will ever stop bleeding
Eleven minutes to breathe you in
I felt the darkness
When I knew I couldn't hold you again When I knew I couldn't hold you again
Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here
Life is... short, but it is wide I know it's true
You've touched more souls Than most people ever do
Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here
You could not stay with us
We will come to you
You could not stay with us, ooh
You're going home, Love, where you belong
Oh my baby girl, I'll see you soon
Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than...
Olivianna, you're in the arms of God
Just a moment there is better than here


Happy Birthday my sweet boy. We love you and miss you every day.

Baby's New Nursery!!

While Jeff was in Honduras and Kennedy and I were in Iowa, three of my super amazing friends worked their tails off in our home! Christina, Trudi and Stephanie completely redid the nursery!! I am so amazingly blessed I can't put it into words! This was such an wonderful gift for our family!

Our nursery had been yellow and green - gender neutral. We didn't learn the gender before Kennedy and Sam were born so we wanted it to work for both a boy or girl. Now that we know this baby is a girl, they wanted to get our nursery all girly!!!! They got new bedding and completely repainted it all! Stephanie owns a super company called Frannies and she paints the most amazing murals! Trudi and Christina threw in their creative talent as well and the final product was amazing!!!!

Isn't this mural fantastic!?! Each little birdie on the flowers is a member of our family!
And this little blue bird high above us is sweet little Sam! I love that they included him!
Then there is our glider corner with these adorable lights! They are very soft so the light will be great for nighttime feedings! (and we WILL be recovering out old blue glider!)
And here is the new bedding!!!! SWEET!!!!
We are truly so blessed - I can hardly believe it!!! And in 6 short weeks a sweet little baby girl will occupy this room!!!!

Another Angel Baby

I just got the news that a scrappy friend of mine lost her daughter this morning. Sonda's family has the most amazing story. Her daughter, Baylee, was diagnosed with Leigh's syndrome as an infant and the doctors didn't expect her to live past 2 years old. Baylee had other plans! What a fighter she was! Last July the doctors found an agressive tumor that reached from her brain to her spinal cord. Baylee was given weeks to 3 months to live. For the past 6 months Sonda and her husband have put their lives on hold to cherish every last minute they could with their sweet girl. Baylee died in her mother's arms this morning, just a little over a month shy of her 14th birthday. You can read more about Baylee's story here and please feel free to leave the family a word or two of support.

My heart just breaks for them. I want so desperately to understand why these things happen. But I know it just isn't something God wants us to know, or that it is something our earthly minds just can't grasp. But I will continue to put my trust in Him. I believe that Baylee is being rocked in Jesus' arms, just as my sweet Sam is. And how wondrous it will be when we are both reunited in Heaven with our children!

Proverbs 3:5

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

Isaiah 26:4

⁴ Trust in the LORD forever,

for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.

2 Samuel 12:23

²³ But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

I don't know that I have shared this video or song with you all or not. So if I have, I apologize for my repost. Each time, and I mean EACH. TIME. I hear this song I cry. EACH. TIME. It still hurts so much, even 22 months later. Anyway, enjoy the son

g....Stephen Curtis Chapman is amazing. If you don't know his family's story you are missing out. He is such a great testament to faith and what it can and will do. Anyway, that is all a post in itself! So here is the song....oh and I decided to add a little blurb from him, too.....

And I will leave with my photo for today.....my sweet, sweet girl. I will now go give her extra kisses while she sleeps in bed. She is truly God's child, His gift to me.

January 9, 2010